Daily Archives: January 13, 2011
Today on my run, I thought about things I wanted to write about. Then I started to think if it’s possible to run without actually thinking about anything. Have you ever tried this? Have you tried to go out on your run and not think about anything at all? I mean, is it even possible?
I noticed that even when I’m trying to not think about anything, I’m still thinking about something. So, I decided to try and make some observations about my running instead.
I noticed that when I run, I’m always somewhat aware of my pace and if I’m going too fast or too slow. I noticed that I tend to run and then pull myself back, almost as if my body is taking a half a second hiccup if you will. I don’t quite know how to explain it, but I do this a LOT. I notice that I have a very quiet footfall, I’m not a heavy ground slapper. I noticed that there are a LOT of Black Capped Chickadees this year and boy are they noisy little buggers. I noticed that it seems as if squirrels aren’t as timid and skittish as I once thought they used to be, or is this because we have crowded their existence and they have gotten used to us? A thought to ponder I guess.
ADD anyone? See what just happened there? This is how my mind works.
I noticed that my nose runs a LOT when I run…and I don’t carry tissues with me. I noticed that no matter how tight I pull my drawstring on my tights, I still get that hanging crotch and I inevitably end up with rub marks. I noticed that I think my toebox is a bit on the narrow side and this may be part of my current issue with my foot. I noticed that running without my Ipod sometimes is actually quite nice and in the new year, I vow to do that more.
I also noticed that It’s quite impossible for me to run without thinking about anything. I’m a thinker, it’s what I do. You could challenge me to go out and run and think about nothing, but I guarantee you, that I will then think about how am I going to run without thinking about anything…
I present you with another challenge.. go and buy the book “The Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo. Come back and tell me what you thought about it.
At the Window
I was at the window
when a fly near the latch
was on its back spinning—
legs furious, going nowhere.
I thought to swat it
but something in its struggle
was too much my own.
It kept spinning and began to tire.
Without moving closer, I exhaled
steadily, my breath a sudden wind
and the fly found its legs,
rubbed its face
and flew away.
I continued to stare at the latch
hoping that someday, the breath
of something incomprehensible
would right me and
enable me to fly.
You know, I wanted to take a minute to talk about something that has been bothering me.
Humble-–adjective 1. not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.
I don’t think we as a collective society are humble enough. I think we as a collective society walk around with an air of entitlement. I suppose that is why the state of the nation is the way it is. Not enough people are humble in their day to day life. Too many people walk around thinking they have the right to say what they want and do what they want, when they feel, no matter the consequence.
See, when you put something out there, or when you act a certain way, you create a perception of yourself. We don’t have the ability to take back our words or actions. Once you put your thoughts out there and you say your words, they will fall where they may in the mind of the person you are directing them to.
and sometimes, the damage you have created cannot be undone. I ask you this, before you speak words from your mouth or before you act upon something, take a minute to really think about how it might effect the person you are directing it to. After all arrogance is not an attractive attribute.
Seriously. I have pondered this thought a lot lately. I guess, pondered is the wrong term, and probably should admit before I go any further that I’m rather obsessive with my thoughts and thinking. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I was born this way, as I know, I was not. Let’s just say that this way of behavior has become a result of how things have gone OR not gone in my life. Okay, see, I told you that I have a habit of digressing, I just did it..did you even notice? HA!
Back to my original thought..really..when is enough..enough. What is your breaking point? At what point do you say those words out loud or in your head? To me, lately, it seems to be a daily dialogue with myself or with my sweet husband. My sweet husband, by the way is the guy who works hard to support us, the one who has a very rigorous travel schedule, who gets by on little to no sleep most times, YET, always seems like he is holding it together? Yea, that would be my husband. More about him later.
As I was taxing one of my children to one of their sporting practices, I started to think about this. We as humans are stretched to the maximum. We all have busy schedules; we all are keeping time on someone else’s clock. A constant blur of rushing to meet deadlines, have you noticed that more times than not, what you’re doing is adhering to everyone else’s schedule but your own? You moms know what it is that I’m talking about. Sometimes my life seems a constant blur of eating, sleeping, running, caring for my family and driving somewhere, okay, so maybe not in that order, but you catch my drift. Some days it seems as if the hours in my day run right into the next, and before I realize, I’m standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes after dinner. Where the hell did my day just go? Honestly, the day’s rituals seem to be a blur come 7pm some nights. I mean did I even enjoy my day? Was it good? Was I good? Did I piss anyone off? Did they piss me off? (of course they did)The last thing I remember on some days is putting my two youngest on the bus; everything after that was well..I can’t even really say, because that would mean that I actually remembered my day..and I just got done telling you that most times I don’t remember them.
So my point?
Okay, so my writing and rambling is not always going to have a point. Like I say to my husband OR like my husband has been saying to me A LOT lately, not everything has to have a reason or meaning behind it; sometimes things just happen, and sometimes I just say random stuff.
Anyway, I do have a point with this today. My point is, decide when enough is really enough in your life. Pick a day and decide that today is going to be your enough is enough day. When you pick your day, do something for yourself. Skip an appointment, don’t answer your phone, don’t answer that email or do that load of laundry that has been sitting there for almost a week..(what? You don’t have a pile that’s been sitting there for a week? Oh, okay, maybe that is just my house then) Pick something else to do that will benefit YOU. Turn up the radio, sing your heart out..take a long walk or just sit and take in the scenery, but most of all don’t forget to laugh.
The last part is the most important part. Laugh. When is the last time you really laughed? Stop and think about that. Do you remember the last time you laughed so hard you cried? You could barely breathe? Do you remember where you were or what you were doing?
I challenge you to do this at least once a month. Report back to me on how it went.