Let’s Roll..

You know, sometimes I am not sure what makes me a runner. I have to be honest, some days I really do not enjoy it all that much, I know, I know some of you die hards out there are probably trying to convince yourselves that you absolutely enjoy running and every single day you just wake up to run! I used to be like that honestly, then something happened and I somehow fell off that wagon of thought. I don’t know if I began to put too much pressure on myself, or if I began to feel like I would never be a good enough runner. I am not satisfied right now with just being a *runner*, I want to be a person who runs because they want to reach their full potential as a runner. Some days, I am not sure I have what it takes, or that I have that animal drive that is required for running well in a race. I’m a whimp out, a quitter of sorts if you will, I give up too easily because honestly, I’m afraid of pushing my body’s envelope. The first hint of pain I feel, I may run with it for a little while, but I eventually back down from it, because I just don’t like the way it feels. I want it, of course I do, I want it super bad, but obviously not bad enough when it’s show time. I have raced with people in races that I know had no business passing me in a race, and I have watched those same people come into the shute before me as well, and I know in my heart of hearts they should have come in behind me (don’t worry, if your reading this it is not YOU). I lack the discipline that it takes to tow the line, to run through the pain, I have lacked the ability to convince myself that the pain is only temporary and that I will survive it. It makes me madder than hades, and yet, I have yet learned to work past it. I have gotten to the point where my training has suffered because I have been having my own private pity party.

I have a goal race coming up in October, I plan on running the Marine Corp. (barring any injuries of course). My hope is to run that race hard and to come in at a set goal time that I have in my head. My hope is to train like I  mean it, to eat properly and to keep hydrated, I know that sounds quite simple, but it takes work and dedication. Not to say that I have not been a dedicated runner, however, it is now time to step it up a notch or two or three.


About runningawaywithme

I'm a mom to 3 gorgeous children and married to a wonderful guy! I work in Critical Care and I classify myself on some levels as an adreneline junky. However, I am terrified of heights! Go figure! Im dedicated to running and physical fitness. There are no excuses good enough to not keep yourself healthy in body and in mind.

Posted on May 23, 2011, in Running. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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