347 Days and Life Can Be Cruel.

January 17

Came home to a disaster today. My boy is sick. So very sick. So fast. So quick. My sweet puppy. I did not think how my day started was how it would end.

I did my workout right when I got home, to help release some of what I was feeling while Hemi was at the vet.

Preacher Curls: 4×12 @ 30lbs
Ez bar curls: 2×10 @ 21lbs
1×10 @ 21lbs
1×8 @ 21lbs
1×10 @ 21 lbs
Hammer curls: 4x 12@ ?? I don’t remember. Probably 12lbs
BB press 4×12@ 35lbs
DB flies 4×12@ 12lbs
Incline press 4×12 @12lbs
Close grip BB press 3×12@ 30lbs
Lying db tri extensions 3×12@8lbs
Db overhead tri extension 3×12 @12lbs

No cardio. I went to bed. I was abruptly woken up 2 hours later. Spent the next two hours at the vet. I’m not ready to write it all down. The pain is too deep and too painful. I can’t figure out what happened and why. It was so quick. We do know this. We know he waited for us to come and love on him and hold him and tell him how desperately we loved him.

I cried so hard my vision became blurred into what was and what was not in front of me. I could barely stand and yet I could barely lay close enough to him. I wanted to crawl into him and protect him and feel his heart on my face. He was in there, I know he heard us. In the end, he took the decision away from us. He lessened our burden. He let go. We left the room for 5 minutes and he began his journey home. We raced to him, I don’t remember leaving one room and entering the room you were in. I was just there, crawled into your crate with you. Telling you how sorry I was. I begged you to not leave me and yet I begged for you to go, so your pain can leave your existence. Find her.. Find Chelsea my sweet boy, she is waiting for you. I thought I was saying it in my head, but I quickly realized I was practically screaming at you. With my face pressed so hard into yours I could smell you and I felt your last breaths against my face. You left us.. And you took a piece of me with you.

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About runningawaywithme

I'm a mom to 3 gorgeous children and married to a wonderful guy! I work in Critical Care and I classify myself on some levels as an adreneline junky. However, I am terrified of heights! Go figure! Im dedicated to running and physical fitness. There are no excuses good enough to not keep yourself healthy in body and in mind.

Posted on January 18, 2013, in Personal Growth, Weight training. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Thinking of you, hoping your as ok as ok can be. So sorry your hurting.

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