Daily Archives: January 30, 2013
I seem to be back in a funk again of wanting to sleep most of the day away. I went through this back in December, before I kicked myself back into gear. Every month I seem to go through this, and I’m not sure why it keeps happening. I seem to be using the “I work nights” to be an excuse for my constant bed lounging. I get up around 6am, to get 2 of my 3 kids fed, dressed and off to school by 7:30. I get home, get our youngest up and started, kiss him good-bye and climb into bed until noon/1ish. I’m not really sleeping, sleeping, but more like dozing. I feel guilty the whole time and my conversations with myself usually go as follows:
“Why are you in bed? I’m tired. No you’re not. Yes, I am. I feel it, I don’t feel like I slept well last night or the last two days I came off shift. God, your lazy. I should just get up. No, I deserve to rest and sleep..no,your just lazy”
I never get up and I end up dozing in and out for about 3/4 hours. I get up and then feel like a sloth for lying around. I frantically try to cram everything in that I need to do and A)have to go to work or B) I’m frantic for the next 5 hours, trying to get caught up on everything I probably could have done in the morning, but instead chose to lay around. Then don’t end up going to bed (if I don’t have to work) until midnight. Wash/rinse/repeat. Who lives like that? I just can’t do it anymore. I was NEVER EVER EVER a bed lounger like I am now. I was ALWAYS up by 530 and all my shit done by noon-including my runs. House cleaned, run done, dinner prepped, laundry done..etc..etc.. This job is ruining my life. No really it is. The shift. I dare anyone who works night shift to tell me they love it and have a normal life. I dare you. You are lying. I work 3-12’s a week. Sounds okay on the surface right? I work 7p-7a, freaking zombie hours. Why? Because I assumed it would make my life easier and I would not miss anytime with the kids. Yea. I was wrong. Dead wrong.. I’m not happy, and I’m making everyone around me not happy. There I said it.
Ran 5 miles outside today. Yippee for me.
ez bar curls- 3×15@21lbs
super setted with
Bench Dips- 3×15 (body weight)
Hammer Curls- 3×10@15lbs
Tricep extensions-3×12@ 12lbs
super setted with
Preacher Curls- 3×12@35lbs
Nice quick and easy.
Dealing with some other crap right now. Too angry to put it all down and besides, I don’t have answers yet. Drama, Drama who’s your mama.
Anxious, sad and frustrated.