334 Days of, If you want Something Done Right, Do it Yourself.

I seem to be back in a funk again of wanting to sleep most of the day away. I went through this back in December, before I kicked myself back into gear. Every month I seem to go through this, and I’m not sure why it keeps happening. I seem to be using the “I work nights” to be an excuse for my constant bed lounging. I get up around 6am, to get 2 of my 3 kids fed, dressed and off to school by 7:30. I get home, get our youngest up and started, kiss him good-bye and climb into bed until noon/1ish. I’m not really sleeping, sleeping, but more like dozing. I feel guilty the whole time and my conversations with myself usually go as follows:

“Why are you in bed? I’m tired. No you’re not. Yes, I am. I feel it, I don’t feel like I slept well last night or the last two days I came off shift. God, your lazy. I should just get up. No, I deserve to rest and sleep..no,your just lazy”

I never get up and I end up dozing in and out for about 3/4 hours. I get up and then feel like a sloth for lying around. I frantically try to cram everything in that I need to do and A)have to go to work or B) I’m frantic for the next 5 hours, trying to get caught up on everything I probably could have done in the morning, but instead chose to lay around. Then don’t end up going to bed (if I don’t have to work) until midnight. Wash/rinse/repeat. Who lives like that? I just can’t do it anymore. I was NEVER EVER EVER a bed lounger like I am now. I was ALWAYS up by 530 and all my shit done by noon-including my runs. House cleaned, run done, dinner prepped, laundry done..etc..etc.. This job is ruining my life. No really it is. The shift. I dare anyone who works night shift to tell me they love it and have a normal life. I dare you. You are lying. I work 3-12’s a week. Sounds okay on the surface right? I work 7p-7a, freaking zombie hours. Why? Because I assumed it would make my life easier and I would not miss anytime with the kids. Yea. I was wrong. Dead wrong.. I’m not happy, and I’m making everyone around me not happy. There I said it.

 

Ran 5 miles outside today. Yippee for me.

ez bar curls- 3×15@21lbs

super setted with

Bench Dips- 3×15 (body weight)

Hammer Curls- 3×10@15lbs

Tricep extensions-3×12@ 12lbs

super setted with

Preacher Curls- 3×12@35lbs

Nice quick and easy.

Dealing with some other crap right now. Too angry to put it all down and besides, I don’t have answers yet. Drama, Drama who’s your mama.

 

Love,

Anxious, sad and frustrated.

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About runningawaywithme

I'm a mom to 3 gorgeous children and married to a wonderful guy! I work in Critical Care and I classify myself on some levels as an adreneline junky. However, I am terrified of heights! Go figure! Im dedicated to running and physical fitness. There are no excuses good enough to not keep yourself healthy in body and in mind.

Posted on January 30, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. itll be ok in time mom, just give it some time, let time heal everything.

  2. even when you are in these moods we are still family. Family sticks through thick and thin. We all love each other. No matter how hard it is mom. I realize i recently made a mistake and i apologize for it. But even now we all still love each other. Family will never fail.

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