Monthly Archives: February 2013

308 Days and I went OUTSIDE to RUN!!!

Heh..It’s the little things sometimes. I promised myself that I would get out today and run at least 3 miles. No pressure, no pre-determined route, no pre-determined speed, just run..slog..or whatever my legs/body/mind felt like doing. Let me first start off with saying that, I actually got up at 8:15 today. NOT noon and NOT 1pm. 8:15!! My hubby woke me up like I asked before he left for mtgs, and instead of moaning and asking for more time, I just got up. GOD that felt GOOD. I mean, I was tired, and I thought about staying in bed for a bit longer, but I knew that I needed to do this. I’m not working tonight and I did not work last night, so I really needed to try and get on to a regular schedule. I’m tired now, and the goal is that maybe I can sleep better tonight.

Anyway, I went out and did my run, it felt wonderfully fantastic, comforting and warm. Sort of like putting on a pair of fuzzy slippers when your feet are freezing. I of course, tried to WANT to do more in my pea brain, but I knew that keeping it at 3 was the goal. The plus is that I WANTED to and I COULD have done more. Legs felt good, lungs felt good and no niggles or groans for my muscles or joints. Not bad for not running outside in about 2.5 weeks. I looked at my log and it turns out that I have run a couple times this month. Huh..that is a plus. I just need to figure out a race or two to register for next. I will probably do the St. Lukes Half and a 5k, I’m doing a FUN 5k with some girls from work in May I think it is, but I’d like to do one on my own as well. That’s it for now. Nothing more. I will play it by ear for awhile.

Lateral Raises- 3×12@ 10lbs

Supersetted With

Alternate Front Raises- 3×12@ 12lbs

Upright Rows- 3×12@ 28lbs

Supersetted With

Military Presses- 3×12 @12lbs


Oh and..having issues with my teeth. Next month I go to the Oral Surgeon. I’m so excited I can hardly stand it. Yay me!

After putting in my calories for the day thus far, I’m still at a 462 calorie deficit. I believe I was at the same deficit yesterday. I already added in my wine later on as well as my pretzels.  I have not had much of an appetite today, I ate at regular intervals of what? 3.54 hours apart? I drank 8 glasses of fluids (coffee, water, Vitamin Water Zero and Diet Coke Zero- sorry best I can do and be lucky I got that much in).

Breakfast was- oatmeal with almond butter, splenda and half and half (which I did not finish)

Lunch after my run and weights was-Flank Steak, with Kale and a small sweet potatoe

Snack was coffee and a 1/2 a luna bar

Dinner was- pork, rappini and Quinoa

Everything was portioned out properly (I’m getting used to this- the only thing I don’t measure out are my veggies, you can never have enough of those!!)

I’m sitting at 1358 calories which INCLUDES my snack for later on..(around 9ish) Sorry, 426 calories left. What to do? What to do? Throw in a protein shake for good measure?


My oldest texted me at lunch today and asked if he could eat the fries they serve with lunch. What the hell already school system! Fries? Really? Can you at least make them Sweet Potato fries? Of course I told him, he can, but they will not be a good calorie choice. Understand that he is coming off of Wrestling Season where he had to keep his weight (which btw he lost 20lbs healthily!! YES, he needed to lose some weight to begin with and the extra came off naturally between working out and him eating clean) and watch his food intake. Can I say that I cooked for that child for the last 3 months all of his meals! (not that I don’t cook for my kids, but cooked CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN for him) I got up and cooked him breakfasts, helped him with lunch on days he was home, cooked his dinners and packed him snacks for school daily (fruits, almond butter sandwiches, healthy bars etc..etc..) I’m so proud of him, I was not sure he could do it, as he has a sweet tooth and  well..he’s a 15 year old BOY! He became very aware of good and bad foods, how to eat smart and taste tested a variety of new veggies. It was a pleasure to cook for him AND the rest of us got to eat clean as well!

He is happy to NOT have to worry about what the scale says so strictly now, but he still wants to maintain a clean way of eating (with treats here and there, which of COURSE! he can) I just chuckled when he texted me that. He then responded with asking if I can just pack him lunch. *Sigh*..of course I said yes..It’s what we do right?

One of the coaches spotted him at school today and asked him what grade he was in, when he told them 9th, they then proceeded to say “Wow, your big for a 9th grader! Thought about playing football?” NO! NOT Football! Of course he felt the need to reply, that he will think about it. NO YOU WON’T!! Nothing to think about..move along little doggie. Wrestling and Baseball is plenty. Besides, I don’t need to worry about you getting your grill knocked out. Love you! 🙂

310 and 309.

Yesterday was another wash of a day for working out. It was best spent relaxing and giving myself another day to try to get better. Ran some errand with the husband and one of the kids. Was lucky enough to work last night as well! Day 3 of Augmentin, I’m only now starting to feel a little better. Bring it on, it’s been long enough.

Today is day 309. I can’t believe how quickly time is flying by. I’m still committed and still excited to continue forward on this journey. I have seen gains in the way I look (muscle wise) and It has forced me to pay a little more attention to what I’m eating, which in turn, has made me prepare things that are better for the whole family as well.

6.62 miles on the trainer (21 min)

Ez Bar Curls- 3×12 @ 28lbs

Supersetted With

Bench Dips- 3×15 (bodyweight)

Hammer Curls- 3×12 @ 15lbs

Supersetted With

Lying Tricep Extensions- 3×12 @ 10lbs

Concentration Curls- 3×12 @ 15lbs

Supersetted With

DB Kickbacks- 3×12@ 10lbs

Walked on the treadmill at a brisk clip for 3miles. 48minutes.

I had planned on running the 3 today, but my head is still a little off. I will get outside tomorrow and run 3 OR whatever my body feels like more or less. I’m a runner. Always will be. I may have to rebuild what I lost, but with the base that I had and years under my belt, I would like to think it won’t take me long at all. I may surprise myself and be able to do it faster than what I think. Either way, I will listen to my body and take it slow.
Regarding Fooducate. I have decided that I do not care for the app. I used it for about a week and found that it will not give you your macronutrients, and there are actually a lot of foods that it does NOT have.  After some research I have been using another app, that is much better suited to my needs, gives me my macronutrients with the foods you add and the food list is huge. I have yet to NOT be able to find something on there. There is also the same bar code feature that Fooducate had, so you can scan in foods to search them that way as well. The other feature I like is that  it gives you a tab where you can click on glasses of water, which for someone like me is a good motivator. It allows you to put in body measurements, will give you a summary of what you have eaten for the day along with some recommendations. I decided to buy the upgraded feature for $3.99. For me, it was/is money well spent. It is call MyNetDiary (Pro) if you buy it.

After logging my food for about a week now, I have noticed that I’m definately under my calories (give or take about 500-700 calories a day), It has forced me to add food in, up some portion sizes and think a little bit harder about my choices in general. I have found that if you are eating properly, you really can eat up to 6 times a day and be within your allotted calories AND feel full. I have spent a great deal of my calories on chicken, lean beef (think flank steak), and turkey. I eat a lot of sweet potatoes, and quinoa and an abundance of leafy greens.

I have found that cooking and seasoning is the key. I love to do a lot of stir fry type dishes with coconut oil (properly measured out) and garlic paste thrown in. Chicken with bok choy, swiss chard, kale, maybe some mushrooms, zucchini and peppers. Interchange the chicken with beef for a different taste. Turkey burgers are a favorite as well, especially if you are sure to make them yourself.

My biggest downfall is still breakfast and lunch since my appetite is at its lowest at those times. I have a sweet tooth in the mornings, so I’m trying to figure out something that will fill me and satisfy me. I will probably do oatmeal with some almond butter and eggs whites on the side. I also have Lara Bars for a quick fix to have with some coffee, if I really don’t feel like cooking. Lunch is still a work in progress. Since on the days I’m sleeping from working, I’m sleeping at lunch time..and my day won’t start at 3pm on those days. Which, is when I’ll have my coffee and breakfast type foods. Dinner at that point is usually between 930 and 1130 at night (on nights I have to go in to work). If I’m not working, I will have dinner at my normal time, but be awfully short on calories because, well..I’m eating dinner at 6/7 and going to bed by 1130. I certainly can’t squeeze in 1700 calories in that time frame. It will all come together. The moral of my story is that, I definitely was not eating enough. The appetite part is the hardest part, and once I get back on a running schedule it will drop off more. You would think I would be rail thin, alas! I am NOT!

Enough rambling. Ciao’!!

From a fellow blogger!

Happiness Tips

Have you ever heard the phrase “you are who your friends are”? My mom used to say that when I was young and it always stuck with me. Once I grew up, I started to realize just how true that statement is. Along those same lines is a quote by Jim Rohn that reads “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

So you want to live a happy & positive life? Being friends with negative people is certainly not going to assist you in that goal. Try to spend the majority of your time with positive people. Happiness is contagious. High-energy people will lift you up, while people who tend to be negative will bring out your cynical side.

Stay Happy!

Not an official Happster yet? Join us here:

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311 and It’s a….

Dx of Acute Sinusitis baybeeee!! Lovely. I assumed this was just a cold, you know, who goes to the Dr. for a cold..hence my reason why I did not go in to the Dr. sooner. I don’t know what it is, but I have this issue with people who run to the Dr. for every.little.thing. So, yes..I waited. Ahem..Apparently too long. Whatever. It is now what it is and I have a script for Augmentin and a missed day of work. I don’t think it would be so bad if it were not for  my ears feeling like they want to pop out of my head, made worse by bending over. Again, whatever. I am just annoyed all around at this point.

I’m not sure what is going on with me, but my temper is short fused lately and I’m feeling generally annoyed. you know that whole feeling of, “Leave me the hell alone!” , followed by “Why the HELL Is everyone ignoring me OR NOT paying attention to me!”. Yes. Exactly. I feel all of it going on at the same time. What is that? Hormones? Getting older? Feeling stressed in general? Rushed? No time for anything? What gives people?!! I’m over it and I’m sure my family is probably over it. Yesterday already.

Another day of not working out. Again. Meh. I’ll just sit here and..and..pout? Rot? be angry? Find reasons to be angry? Stew? be sad? Frustrated? depressed? or is it blue? Are you technically depressed if you feel down? Or is it feeling blue? “Awww, someone’s got the blues today”. I mean, I’m not laying in bed all day everyday, in the dark, listening to sad music. At least not yet anyway. Heh. I guess you can say I have my peaks and valleys. Or valleys and peaks. Or mountains and pits. Call it what you waxes and wanes.

I wonder if I sense a pattern here. Lately I seem more down than up. Is it because of environmental issues (as in my environment) or is it more than that? I seem to recall a Dr. asking me that question at one point through the years. Yes, I’ve been in this place before. I typically feel this way when things are not in my control.  You see, I am a very controlling person by nature. I need things in my life to be just so, or everything else goes to hell in a handbasket. No, as far as I know, I do not need to be heh. How do I know? Been there done that. The problem with me is that I need to learn to let things go. I need to learn to live and feel alive. I have constrained myself to this little life of having to control everything and everyone, that when they are not in my control, I sort of moving forward and no moving back. I just get irritated and want to start taking people down with me. Not in a mean way, but in the way I behave. You know, a real Debbie Downer. I tend to bottle a lot of crap in…A Lot. I mean, who wants to hear it really? The same crap, different day.  Someday even with my writing, I reread what I have written and I feel so contrite. Almost embarrassed. I don’t take it down or delete it, because this is the one place where I have to be honest with myself. Even if it means writing crap that I feel, but will be horrified at it later on. It’s my way of seeing things in black and white instead of floating in my head, where I try to ignore a lot of things.

I’m pretty hot tempered, always have been, I’m not sure if I’m hot tempered because I get angry because I have lost control, or I get angry because I cannot change something, or if it is anger that has manifested itself from frustration. Make sense? I’m the type of person that get’s angry to the point that I cry. Or I get angry first THEN I cry. Either way, there will always be tears involved if I’m angry enough. What I also can tell you is that I have always tipped the emotional scale one way or the other. I’m also the person who cries at commercials, I cry when someone else is crying, I cry when someone I care about feels badly, I cry when I’m really happy and I cry if a song moves me. Yea..see? I’m probably a whack job by all definitions. 😉 Not really.  I hope.

I have 3 children, as I  think you all know by know. I also have 3 children who are VERY strong willed in one way or the other. I used to get so mad when my mother would say “Ohh, boy..they are going to be JUST LIKE YOU”. Of course I would first think “What the hell do you know ABOUT ME?” I mean, considering she never partook in any of my caregiving while growing up NOR did she ever stay in my life for ANY period of time. So, yea..”What the HELL DO YOU KNOW anyway?!” Apparently enough to know that yes, my kids are growing up with my attitude and my temperament. Some days I think “Oh lovely, they are just like me” and other days it’s more like “SHIT!! These kids are NUTS! just like ME!”

BUT, what I will say, as much as my kids are hard headed, stubborn, have short tempers and are difficult at best sometimes..they ALWAYS, ALWAYS come to us to talk about their problems. They tell us/me everything and when they are in trouble or having trouble, they come to us. They love to give hugs and be loved and they still love to be around us. Mostly. We did something right at least..right? Sometimes I admit, I worry about my oldest the most. He is 15…I wonder if I’ve done my very best getting him ready to be an adult.  I wonder if I have given him enough, I wonder if we have given him enough.  Let me share something. He went away for a couple days with his wrestling team these last couple days. I was leary and unsure, but we decided he deserved the chance to go. We told him he was on his own to make the right choices and to prove that he could be trusted without our constant checking in on him.

I could not have been more proud of him. The one thing that really stood out is a conversation that went like this. Now, unforuntately, the story is a very tragic story, but I will leave names out.

This is via text while he was driving to his destination.

“So and So just died”

Me- “What??!! OMG!!! ”

“Heroin overdose”

Me- “OMG!! These damn kids!!”

“I know they always make the wrong choices”

Me- “I’m so proud of you for making the RIGHT choices”

“Thanks mom, I love you”

Me-“I love you too”


Unfortunately, we lost a teen this weekend. I knew this teen, I spoke to this teen several times. He just graduated. His whole life ahead of him. Moments like that make me scared to death to be a parent. BUT, moments like the short conversation I had with my son, makes me PROUD to be a parent. So again..I hope to God, I am doing a good job. I make mistakes, I say things I should not say, I behave irrationally at times and I do yell a lot. I’m NOT perfect. I just hope that I do right more than I do wrong by my kids and by my husband who also gets the brunt of a LOT of my crap.

Much love to you all..

The irrational, crazy, controlling, emotionally challenged.. Me.

312 and 311.

Been sick with a head/ chest cold. Out of commission.

However, starting to feel better. No workouts for the last 3 days. 2 were scheduled days I could use, the 3rd not so much. Ready to get back at it later today!!

Let’s hope for a good nights sleep!!
I have decided I’m not crazy about Fooducate. Found another app. This one tracks all your macro nutrients. Will post about it later!

313 Days and I’ve Got A Cold! Yay Me!

Scheduled day off today, works well for me, since I may or may not have the beginnings of a chest cold. However, I will be honest with my OCD self and say I WANT to work out.

Grocery day today, and because I’m me and I’m weird, I have taken some pictures of my usual staples.


*Notice the WHEAT BERRIES* First time buying..Have NO idea how to cook them or how they will taste.



Ignore my hideous cabinets. One day we will redid our

My dinner was this:


5 oz chicken
2 cups Kale
3.5 oz sweet tator

Chicken had olive oil (measured)
Garlic, salt and pepper

Tator had ICBINB ( measured)

I won’t always measure, just need to refigure out my portion sizes.

I will post a full menu tomorrow. Trying to eat on my nights I work will prove to be tricky. Or how to eat is more like it. Ummm.. I don’t need to tell y’all, that I will have to figure my wine into this equation as well. Heh.

The newest issue of Oxygen. To me, these are healthy and awesome looking girls! What I aspire to look like.


This is a good read Blog. If you are into cycling! I know that I have talked about wanting to cycle more on and off again through time!

Sectionals- My son’s blog!



Recently he started blogging. This is a huge deal for him and for him to be able to blog really gives him an outlet! There are only 2 posts thus far, but, you know..he is on ly 15!

Days 315 and 314..Not Eating Your Calories Does NOT Help Matters.

Let me post my workouts first for the last two days (not counting todays yet, I’m two days behind due to work)


Leg Extension- 3×15@45lbs (Upped the Weight) I don’t think I will go heavier than this. I’m not looking for the bulk, so I will just add more sets once this becomes too easy)

Plie Squats-3×15 @ 25lbs

Lying Leg Lifts-3×10 @45lbs (upped Weight- same note as above)

Walking Lunges- 3×20 @ 15lbs

Walked 2 miles of hills on treadmill.

Cycled 6.47 miles


Woke up a little late, so only decided to work my shoulders.

Lat Raises- 3×12 @10lbs

Supersetted With

Upright Rows- 3×12@38lbs (Upped Weight)

Military Presses-3×12 @ 12lbs

Supersetted With

Alternating Front Rows- 3×12 @ 12lbs

Cycled 10.17 miles

No real-time for anything else.

So, It appears that I really do need to focus on my calories. I did a couple of days worth of counting and I’m coming in anywhere between 800 and 900 calories short a day. My times in between meals are too long and I’m not eating enough when I am. Subsequently, this is causing the scale to not budge and has even shown a gain. However, I do feel my clothing getting looser. Is this because of the muscle I have been building over the last 2 months? My measurements are not any different except of course my biceps and probably a little in my legs muscle wise. For what I have been burning in aerobic workouts AND weight training, I would surely think my weight would drop.

This is the part of weight training I need to learn more about. I don’t know what my true caloric intake should be. I am NOT looking to bulk, but thin and lean out, with definite muscle definition. People see me and consider me thin, I see me and consider me so so. Then I get on the scale and I’m like what the SAM HELL is going on around here! I won’t bust my ass, to get this all wrong. So, I will begin to learn and relearn some more stuff that I once knew, but have since forgotten.

Are we doing 6 smalls meals a day equalling a set number of calories? Not sure, that may be too much work for someone like me who can barely get in 3 meals. It is also a difficult task because I work 3, 12 hour night shifts a week. So my day on those days start at say 3pm and go all night until 8am, when I throw myself into bed for 6 hours and get up and do it again. Then I’m off for 2/3 days to normalize myself and then go back into a 2 day cycle. I have been better at packing my lunch, and I have been better at packing better foods. I have become quite addicted to greens and Quinoa as well as sweet potatoes and chicken. I just need a variety. I wish I could just hire a nutritionist for a week.

This is a lifestyle for me, not a diet, or a fad. This is how I am choosing to live my life. Fit and healthy. Can I have my treats, of course, because I do NOT believe in eliminating any one food group. It’s about moderation and making good choices. I want to continue to track my calories, but after a while it becomes to laborious to do. Or maybe I’m just lazy.

When I look in the mirror I am happy with what I see for the most part. I definitely see my upper body beginning to really pop. I’m on my way for sure. I just need to do some food tweaking and probably add my miles back in their vs the walking. I know it’s calling me. It wants me to run. I have to run. I just have to.

anyway anyone have any thoughts on muscle weighing more than fat? Muscle holding on to a certain amount of water etc..etc..My clothing is not tighter and some feels looser around some parts of my body. I just don’t want to screw myself and end up bulking.

My arms look thin right?? This is with no flexing at all.


So to be and get real about all this I need to put pictures up along the way so I can see progress and hopefully others will post some  positive critiquing. My stomach at its natural state. No holding in here, it’s always kind of been easy to maintain, other than the bloat that goes with being lactose intolerant. I don’t do a super lot to it, and I suppose I should.  Never have liked ab work. Any way, as painfully embarrassing it is to put some of this out there, I need to, so that I myself can keep on top of things.


Comments, advice and ideas are always welcomed! Next stop..learning the eating portion of it all. Figuring out calories, proteins, carbs and fats.

Yay. Not.



Some more smoothie/shake ideas!

HarsH ReaLiTy

A Good Blog is Hard to Find


Strength for the body, mind + spirit. 1 Cor 15:57

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