Hansons or Bust.

I don’t know what the heck I am doing anymore with my running. I just know that I need to do something, before I lose my running groove. I have been doing this crazy nonsense dance now for the last year and three months. No goal, no racing, no nothing. My last race was over a year ago. I have just been miserable with no running destination. I keep saying I’m going to do this or this and end up doing nothing.

I figure now that my weight training is in full swing and I’m buzzing right along, I can try to refocus a bit on the running aspect of me. I have been reading Hansons on and off, and so far, what I have read, it seems like something I am willing to try. So yesterday was my start day. After going through the beginner plans (Which I decided I need to start there, because I have never ran a marathon before AND it’s been a year since I have had any real training going on) I have decided that is where I need to be. However, I am not starting at week one, since my base is strong enough to start further down the plan. So I will.

I am not sure that I am committed to the Mary, however, I do know that the training will also support a half (which I would like to better my time) and a 5k- which I also want to better my time. Not really decided if I want to focus solely on a 5k this year to take the pressure off, or do both. Good God, I  can’t make my mind up. Either way, I’m going to try and start and stick to a training program. It probably will get a little challenging down the road, but I hope, I can get my groove back.

Yesterday (Feb 4) was day one. 4 miles @ 9:30 pace.  Easy enough? I guess.  *Sigh* I don’t know If I am biting off more than I can handle. Stay tuned for all my craziness and grandiose dreams.

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About runningawaywithme

I'm a mom to 3 gorgeous children and married to a wonderful guy! I work in Critical Care and I classify myself on some levels as an adreneline junky. However, I am terrified of heights! Go figure! Im dedicated to running and physical fitness. There are no excuses good enough to not keep yourself healthy in body and in mind.

Posted on February 5, 2013, in Running. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Hey Denise,

    What I’m about to say can be a hard thing to ‘sell’ to someone but here goes…
    Growing up in the country, I have always ran and enjoyed getting from A to B by running, stumbling onto trail running as a matter of course but nothing major, just out to enjoy the wind, rain, birds singing, the sounds of the flowing burn, chasing rabbits, running back for DINNER! ;o) The list as a kid was endless.
    In my adult life, I carried on running as a past-time as well as doing the odd 10k charity run but nothing too excessive. Having stumbled across ‘barefoot running’ through wearing aqua shoes in a fancy dress costume, I noticed a more natural form of running as well as feeling more connected to the environment I was running in and through. Having been pointed in the direction of a book ‘Born to Run’ – I never looked back!

    Running for many people, perhaps with that competitive edge, seems to be more about goals and precious times and achievements – nothing wrong with this but a significant amount of natural and dare I say it ‘spiritual’ enjoyment can be overlooked. I love to run and enjoy taking part in various races, including my new found love of ultra running. I do have a focus to cross the finish line and achieve a target time but the main enjoyment for me is ‘the journey’ I have taken to get to that level or point within a race. Having focused my enjoyment on the environment around me, I have found that I can switch off and fall into a sense of meditation, where I’m relaxed, almost sitting back and enjoying the ride! Sounds crazy I know and I am way beyond being religious or spiritual but there is a connection I have found within my’self’ and I believe we all have it. I believe it’s within all of us to achieve these levels of enjoyment and fulfillment, through running, it’s just that we have forgotten!

    Before I ramble on way too much – just try to remember that this should be natural and fun. Listen to your body. If it’s sore or tired, push a little then rest, then head on again. You will find in time that ‘persistence’ is key and your body will thank you for it! 🙂

    “Run like the wind young gwath-hoppa!” 😉

    • Thank you for your words..I get so wrapped up and confused on what I really want out of running. Dare I say that somewhere deep down I don’t want to race anymore? I don’t know. I have been doing this for nearly 5 years or more. I have spent the last 4 years of that time racing and reaching for time goals. I have made great progressions, but have always felt that I was not reaching my true potentials. Faster,stronger, etc..etc.. I always seem to start something in regards to training and then I end up falling off the training plan and just running what I feel like and going into races half trained, half ready and over the board mentally invested AND then self imploding on myself. I can’t seem to find that balance. I want to commit to it all and yet, I don’t know where to start. I need to read Born to Run. I have heard so many, many good things about it.

      I know I am a *runner* in my heart and in my soul. It gives me solace, comfort and joy. Not always joy,and sometimes pain and angst..but I always come back to it with open arms and the feeling of a perfect fit. Perhaps I have made it too difficult, too much thought and too much of everything. I feel like If I quit racing and just run for pleasure, I will never know what my true potentials are and then I somehow feel like I have quit on myself. Or have I? Or Is it winning,because I am making it about what my heart tells me to?

      So much to think about? Or maybe not? Maybe I already have all my answers and I just need to let it all just be. Stop chasing race times and training plans. I just want to run for me. I do know that I DO want to achieve some goals. Then I will hang up the racing hat for awhile a long while and just rack up some awesome, glorious, soul healing miles..and re-find myself. Re-find my running soul and feed it and nurture it, without beating it up and trying to force it into things it does not really want to do. Ack.

      For right now, I will just go forward and try out yet one more *plan* If I fall off again, then it will be my answer. I’m just figuring things out as I go and I know as I get older, my thoughts, feelings and emotions on my running and why I run are slowly changing. I see people I know having goals, running races, having their training runs and I envy them. I need to figure out why I envy them and then quickly not care about their *stuff* and worry about my own *stuff*. I need to figure out what my *stuff* is. Eventually? I can only hope.

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