So, I am down to 115 days. Even though I still have a ways to go, I wanted to take a minute to reflect on what this year has been like so far. First and foremost, I want to say that I am grateful and thankful for all the help I have had along the way. Mostly to other bloggers, Facebook Groups, Websites and my friends. This has been a big journey, one that I am very glad I decided to take. I’m not sure everyone *gets* it, or wants to at least try and get it, and that’s ok. Everyone is unique and different in their own way, and certainly nobody has to do what I’m doing. This journey is more than just me starting to weight train, this is about becoming more aware of my body, and being more aware of what I am feeding it and how I am treating it. I do believe that too many people take for granted the body they are in. We all do. I have, that much I know is true. I ran for many years and failed to take care of my body by fueling it properly, by NOT listening to the suttle cues it would give me, or by allowing it the rest it deserved. I subsequently, did some damage to my metabolism along with my ego 😦 . I was asking entirely too much of it, and not giving it the fuel it so desperately desired. So I became what is considered thin fat. I looked thin to other people, but I knew better. I was flabby underneath it all. I ran more thinking it would help keep the number on the scale down and I ate less. Did I lose weight? Yes, of course I did. Running, coupled with little eating and stress equals weight loss. However, I was tired, I hurt and I was beat down. I added a 3rd shift job into the mix and well, I sort of self imploded over the course of a year. My running slowed down and my weight started to creep up. Truth be told I probably put on about 13lbs since I stopped running regularly over the course of a year.
On the surface, I did not look like it too much, but my clothing was getting tighter and I looked a little fluffier. I was miserable from the lack of sleep, lack of seeing my family because I was always sleeping, and I was STILL trying to keep a few miles here and there. Something had to give. I decided that running was going by the way side and I needed to drop down to part time with my job (let me say that I am very fortunate that I am able to do that, and I realize how fortunate I am. I have a VERY supportive husband who has stayed by my side every painful step of my bitchy way). I have always dabbled on and off in weight training, but I wanted to try and start it again and stick to it. The only way to do that was to fix my eating first and foremost. What really set those wheels in motion was a woman by the name of Amber, who runs the site GO Kaleo (she also has a FB group). She finally got me to realize that I needed to EAT MORE (not just me, but a bunch of people, a revolution if you will). At first of course I was skeptical, because I came from a background of eat LESS and do cardio MORE. Not eat MORE and do cardio LESS, the HORROR!!! Let me tell you, I have NEVER looked back to my old lifestyle. I began to do my own research, I walked the walk and I continued to read and learn. I had an initial gain. YES, I did. It had to happen that way, I needed to get my metabolism moving again, I needed it to know I wasn’t starving it anymore. I wasn’t going to torture it with TONS of cardio. I was just going to eat and let my body heal.
I started to lift heav(ier). MUCH heavier. I stared following Wendler’s 5/3/1. My weight finally leveled out and stayed put, even though I was feeding it so much more. Then the real changes started, my physique started to change. My biceps started to take shape, my shoulders, my triceps, my hips started to thin out, YET, my weight stayed the SAME. My clothing size dropped again, YET, I was eating MORE. Amazeballs! Who woulda’ thunk!? I continued to lift heavy ( I am 5 cycles in now) and I continued to read and learn and read yet some more. I realized that doing this, studying about food and eating and cooking and weight training made ME HAPPY. I enjoy it. NO, not like I enjoyed running , but a serious love. Pushing my body, and fueling it, and learning and seeing the changes, it’s all Science. It’s all right there in front of me. No one can argue with results, NO one can argue Science. For so long I have believed in the low calorie band wagon (Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach etc..etc..) that had me consuming such low calories and had me doing lots of cardio. You know what? I do MAYBE 2 days a week of cardio and only 15-20 minutes at that. For real. I’m SO much happier now. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my weak moments of bad self talk, I still have days where I pick myself apart in front of the mirror. Or I question all that I am doing, but, the times that I get compliments, or the times that people ask me to help them or tell me that I, ME, I inspire them, reinforces that what I am doing is right. I AM learning, I AM applying what I’m learning to myself. There is NO magic pill, NO magic shake, just some work and time.
You have to be willing to make a change within yourself. Only you can do it. Nobody else. There are only so many tomorrows. Why not today? This is YOUR body, you were only given one. Listen, I am not preaching, because ultimately, whatever you decide, it will not effect me one bit. Your decisions are YOURS and no one else can make them for you. It just makes me sad when I know that you CAN change. YOU CAN. It’s hard to get started, and you will have days where you don’t want to. I still have them, but the benefits FAR outweigh anything else.
You know what else? I get your busy. I am busy too. I am 40, I have 3 kids (15.5, 13 and 11), I also have a husband who travels and I work 2/12 hour shifts a week (3rd shift like I said). My youngest is a competitive gymnast, he is in the gym 6 days a week (which is 40 minutes away ONE way). My daughter twirls, dances and does ballet. My oldest is a wrestler (and I am training him with Wendler’s right now as well). I still manage to put GOOD food on the table, everyone has clean clothing on, I keep my house relatively clean (lol) and I find time to train MYSELF. So, yea. I know BUSY. YOU have to decide are YOU really THAT busy? Or do you lack the motivation that it takes to get there? If it’s the latter, then sorry I can’t help you. Look inward a bit and try to find that answer. Never settle. Never.