Category Archives: Food/Eating?Menus

Days 222-206. I’m still here!

I have just been busy with summer sports, work and getting my yard beautified! It seems like this 2 days a week work thing is really working and jiving with me and my family. Yes! It only took almost 2 years to figure it all out, but thankfully, it’s working itself out. I am very grateful that I have a place of employment that has worked with me and a family that has been so supportive through this big transition.

We are heading into the summer gym schedule (yea!) and we are into baseball and softball season. Sierra has amazed us with her softball skilz! She is a beast out there! Who knew?? For a little thing, she is a monster! We continue to struggle with Legion Ball politics and playing time for our eldest, and we sit on the fence on whether to pull him out or not. I won’t get into that here, since I don’t want to offend anyone. As much as I’d like to and as big of an opinion that I have, it’s shocking I know, but I will refrain on this one topic!

As for me, I’m still plugging along with my weight training and just completed week 4 of Wendler, since coming back from my Oral Surgery. I love the program and have seen gains! This week is my de-load week and then I start up Cycle 2. I’m dealing with a terrible chest cold, but have managed to finish up this weeks workout. I don’t feel like putting in the last 4 weeks of workouts, so I won’t! What I have done is the main lifts for that day and then did 5×10 of the same lift at about 50%, added in a couple assistives and called it a day. I slowly started adding cardio back in and did my first speed session on Thursday. Gabriel and I did 10×100 meter sprints (with a mile warm up and mile cool down). That was tough, especially since I have not done speed in a good few months, probably more. However, it felt good to turn the legs over and see I still have my speed for the most part. I’m not concerned with the mileage at all this go round. I have found that I am much happier in that regard.

I am evolving into this person, that I actually like. I have left some old friendships by the wayside, and have made some news ones and appreciate the old ones even more! I cannot thank them enough for all they have given me in this last 1.5 years. I am more confident in who I am, loving the direction I am taking in life by becoming a Personal Trainer (yes! This makes me feel all giddy to say it!), so many people have encouraged me to do so, and even though it has always been a deep dark secret of mine, it’s finally good to say it out loud and to know that people have felt the same way as I have. I love talking about fitness and I love helping people. Once that is done, I will get my Fitness Nutrition Certification. As for Nursing? It’s still in there, but I’m not sure it gives me the same thrill as Personal Training does when I think of it.  I need to do something that will give me a feeling of accomplishment, of being able to help people, of getting my message out. I have spent far too long hiding under the radar, being afraid to speak of what I know, acting like I am less than I am when around certain people. I know this stuff! I know A LOT about Fitness. I have a lot to learn, but I have a good base. I am always  reading and learning and asking. I look at myself in the mirror and know that what I see, I have done myself. I would love to be able to help others in that same way.

I don’t look like a fitness model or a physique model, but, I don’t look half bad for doing it on my own. I also know that I have not done the whole 9 yards, and if I did, I’m sure I would look even better than I do. Right now, I am taking small steps, because I feel that taking small steps help make the most lasting impressions on your body. I want to be able to get the message out that lifting is good and it is nothing to be afraid of. I want people to know how important and fantastic exercise can be! I want to teach them how to do it right and how to learn to love it. I’ve been doing this now for over 100 days! I’ve stuck by it and have remained committed to it. It has not been easy and I have had some down days, but I keep getting up and getting back to it. I’m no goody two shoes, or do I constantly preach to burn people out, I just sit quietly in the background waiting to help if needed.

I know I said I was not going to post all of the last xx amount of days workouts, but, I will just post  yesterdays. This week is my deload week, like I said.

Day 206 (June 9th)

Main lift is the deadlift

Deadlift (warm up)5×75, 5×91 and 3×111

Actual-5×141, 3×155, and 1+x175 (I did 5) (Last week was 5+) it may be hard to understand this since you are not seeing the previous weeks workout. IF you want to know about it, just look up Wendler’s 5/3/1 and I’m doing the BBB version of it.

Then:

5 x 10 @91 lbs (which is my 50%)

Supersetted with:

Hip Thrusts (alternating single leg and normal) 5×25@30lbs

Ended with 3×10 @ 35lbs of walking lunges.

Yes, I’m still struggling with the eating. I’m getting much better though. I have learned that to build muscle you have to FEED yourself. You CANNOT gain muscle in a deficit. So the theory of cutting calories AND building muscle is not a good one. Pick one, and then go to the other. This is where bulking and cutting come into play. I will do a very  modified version of both at some junction. Which, I will share with you down the road. For now, I’m just focusing on this. I have NOT gained massive amounts of weight by cutting back my cardio either! I have pretty much maintained, with a small gain of lean muscle. I’m ok with that. I track my measurements and scale weight together. We all know the scale is NOT a good indicator of much of anything. It can help you gauge, but anything more than that, don’t go by it’s word alone. I have found that my weight can fluctuate by as much as *GASP* 8 lbs!! Yes, I said that. 8 LBS!! My body loves to hold on to water, especially now with weight training. The key is to drink more, but I have a love hate relationship with water.

I guess I have blabbed enough for now. Talk soon!

 

 

 

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222 With a Side of Rain and Drear.

Boy was I spoiled all week long with the beautiful weather! Got some garden/yard work done, spend some time sitting on the back porch and re-grounding myself a bit. I am also proud to say that I did not spend any of my days sleeping in until noon! HUGE feat in and of itself. I can do this, It’s not easy, especially when coming off of working 2-12’s in a row, but I think the quicker I get back into my normal routine the better it is. Although, today I did get up at 615, get the kids ready for school and went back to bed- BECAUSE I am working tonight. I did STILL manage to get my butt out of bed before noon!

Meal 1 at 620 was: My standard waffle with a smear of peanut butter and coffee

Meal 2 at 12oo(pre-workout) was Oatmeal, with apples, cinnamon, and fresh strawberries on top and 5 egg white with a little kick of hot sauce. Delicious. No really it was. I know most think ewww, that is your typical clean eating diet. Perhaps, but I do enjoy it from time to time. Will I eat this all the time? Of course not, I will get tired. That is when I will variete  with some protein pancakes. Now those are GOOD.

Worked out:

Deadlifts:

5×75, 5×91, 3×101

5×121, 5×141 and 5+x155 (8)

Then dropped down to 40% of my max for 5×10@75lbs

Supersetted with AB work

3×20 Reverse Crunches on the bench

2×20 crunches holding at 6lb medicine ball (really, I need a heavier one)

Then did Hip Thrusts with a 25lb plate on my hips

2×20, then 1×30- 20-30 were pulses

Supersetted with

Side Bends holding a 30lb DB- 3×15

Meal 3 (this is considered a meal because it goes towards my calories for the day)PWO- Vanilla Protein Shake with 1/2 cup water and 1/2 cup 1% milk- 1 scoop protein powder AND 2 cups of popcorn. Love the sweet and salty.

The rest of my meals will consist of chicken, some kind of starchy carb and a veggie. I will probably have a total of 8 oz of chicken between dinner and while I am at work- split in two meals. The same with the carb- but one may  consist of just the chicken and some fruit  I have a greek yogurt to look forward to as well and will probably treat myself to a caramel iced latte. All in my calories for the day.

That was my end to week 1 on Wendler. Next week you will notice that my reps drop down to just 3 for that week. It’s fine..it’s on the plan. As for tomorrow and Sunday, I will probably just do some small stuff. Pull ups, pushups and more ab work. I can also get some cardio on too. Maybe a lss and a HIIT SESSION.

 

 

 

244-223! Has it been almost a month already! Oral Surgery etc..

I can’t believe it’s been so long. Well, I mean, I can, but good gosh. I have lots to catch up on!

Thursday- May 2nd (Day 244)

Ran 4miles

Friday- May 3 (Day 243)

Ran 5miles

Saturday- May 4th (Day 242)

Nothing

Sunday- May 5 (Day 241)

Bench Press (First 3 are warm-up sets)

5×41, 5×47, 3×55 (all are lbs)

-5×61, 5×71 and 14@81lbs

Also remember I am doing Wendler’s Plan. These rep weights are based on a % of my 1 max rep.

Squat– (First 3 are Warm up sets)

5×65, 5×81, 3×95

5×101, 5×121 and 12×135 (I was told I counted wrong here..whatevs..)

Assistives:

EZ Bar Bent Over Rows: 3×12@ 51lbs

Hammers: 3×12@20lbs

Lying Leg Curls: 3×10@50lbs

Monday- May 6th (240)

Wendler Week 2

Press-

5×21, 5×26 and 3×31

3×40, 3×45, 13×50

On Wendler that last set is usually to fatigue  and the rep number depends on what week you are on, just to clear up any confusion.

Assitives:

Shrugs- 3×15@30lbs

Tricep Dips-3×10 BW

Side Bends (obliques) 3×20@ 30lbs

5×20 crunches (damn I hate ab work, BUT I need to REALLY focus on getting this in)

Tuesday- May 7th (Day 239)

Deadlift:

5×71, 5×91, 3×111

3×131, 3×151,8×167 (last set to failure)

Assistives:

Bent Over DB Rows-3×12@ 30lbs

Walking Lunges- 4×10@35lbs

Modified Farmers Walk- 100@35lbs (I count each step as 1)

Wednesday- May 8th (Day 238)

ORAL SURGERY DAY (this consumed days 237-227)

This was miserable and I was miserable. Ain’t no lie.. Suck a mundo..

I knew going in I would have a long recovery and it would not be fun..however, I did not realize how painful it all would be. I also knew going in that I would not be able to work out for up to 10 days. I had to mentally be ok with that. Honestly, considering the pain I was in, I was MENTALLY ok with that. There was no way I could lift heavy at that point!

So from Wednesday May 8-Sunday May 19th. I did nothing but recover. 12 days. It was hard, BUT, I  was not eating nearly enough to even support my daily functions. I got sick and tired of protein shakes and yogurt, and quite honestly, it was easier to NOT eat than it was to eat. Shh, don’t tell anyone, that is really NOT the way to go, but I did and I lost almost 10lbs because of it. YES, YES, YES a lot of it was water, blah blah blah..BUT I also lost some inches. NOT water.

During that time, I found out that I will not be going to the same Unit that my team members from work are going to. HUGE blow to me, which I took extremely hard. Lots of tears were shed and lots of anger stewing in my brain. I will miss my girls terribly and I have to believe that the new transition will be a good one. Thankfully, I had lots of support to help talk me through it. So thankful for my childhood bff. She was my sounding board. The new Unit I will be going to, will certainly be different and honestly, I don’t know how it will all pan out. One day at a time. Next week will be my first week. Wish me luck.

Now, back to it!

Monday- May 20th (Day 226)

I had to do a Re-Start. It was only fair to my body.

Week 1

Press:

5@21lbs, 5@27lbs, and 3@31 lbs

5×35, 5×41, and 5+ x 45lbs (12)

Assitives:

Hammers- 3×8 @20lbs

Bent Over EZ Bar Rows- 3×10@56lbs

Shrugs- 3×15@30lbs

Tricep Dips- 3×15 BW

Tuesday- May 21 (Day 225)

Squat:

5×65, 5×81, 5×91 (I was SUPPOSED to only do 3- apparently I cannot follow directions..and I can’t count)

5×101, 5×121, and 5+ 135 (I did 7) I was REALLY tired today. Can I mention it was 8 hours since I ate last? Can I also mention how stupid I am? Lesson 5 gazillion and ONE not learned yet. Eventually.

Lying Leg Curls: 3×10@50lbs

Modified Farmers: 100@35lbs

Walking Lunges: 3×10 @35lbs

Whew, glad this was over. I was beat. My legs are squash.

Wednesday- May 22nd (Day 224)

No workout planned. However, I figured out that I can do pull-ups on a door. Win. So, okay, don’t laugh. I only did 4×2 of those. Man those are hard to do. A new addition to my Assistives. Love it. I also did 30 push-ups and some ab work. Have I mentioned I hate the ab work? A necessary evil, I’m afraid.

OMG, my legs are SORE. Sitting on the toilet is a real treat.

Thursday- May 23rd (Day 223)

Bench:

5×41, 5×45 and 3×55

5×65 (yea, umm, this should have been 60. I had a real problem with freaking counting today), 5×71 and 5+ x 80. You know how much I did like an idiot (oh and because I can’t count obviously) I did 6×91. I was like..WTF? Why can I only do 6 of these. Well, you idiot, it’s because you did 10lbs more than you should have.  Whatevs..

So I tried something different today and followed a Wendler tip from his book.

More Benches at 40% of my  max- 5×10 @ 40lbs (I actually enjoyed this thoroughly)

Supersetted with:

DB Rows- 5×10 @ 25lbs

EZ Bar Curls- 5×10 @25lbs

Supersetted with:

Tricep Dips- 5×10 (BW of course, at some point I will have to weight these)

Damn, that was a lot to catch up on. Oiy.

So, all in all, I am doing ok. I am moving more towards wanting to build more muscle and lean out more. NO, I am not doing the whole bulk and cut game. I don’t have the personality for that and honestly, I don’t need something else to obsess over in my life. I will probably do a VERY modified version of it all. I am learning so much about it all, and I find that I really enjoy it. So much so, that I may pursue my Personal Training Certification.

I have also signed up for Nutrition Coaching from a very reputable source, However, the wait list is MONTHS long. So, that gives me the chance to save up the money and a chance to continue to learn and absorb all that I can from the site and my own research. I tell you, there really is a lot to learn. I don’t find it work so much, as I do interesting to read. It really captivates me. I have so many issues with food and eating, that I really need someone to steer me in the right direction. I need a good template. I can certainly do one on my own, but I’m constantly second guessing myself, and some of it is confusing. Especially when it comes to getting the right mix of carbs and proteins for muscle growth. WHAT I also learned is that in order to build muscle I have to eat at a surplus. OMG. That will be a tough one, hence the reason I said I would do all that very modified. This all has to be something that I can do for the rest of my life. I also won’t deprive myself. Trying to find that balance for ME is the hardest part of it all.

Today I ate:

Upon waking: 1 waffle with a T of peanut butter and coffee

4hours later: 4 Egg Whites, Oatmeal with cinnamon and strawberries. YES, together in the same bowl. It was good. Indeed.

Workout

PWO- Protein shake with 1/2 water and 1/2 1% skim. 2 cups of popcorn. Perfect mix of carbs and protein. (Don’t want a lot of fat in that post workout)

Portioned out Hamburger Helper with steak fries. YES I SAID PORTIONED OUT. Otherwise this would have blown my calories and macros. Again, I can’t deprive myself right now. It’s within my calories and macros.

I still have planned:

Grilled chicken breast

Some strawberries

Greek Yogurt and YES WINE. (portioned out wine 🙂 5 oz to be exact)

All of this on plan. What I do need to up is my protein. Trial and error.

Whew..that’s enough for tonight! I have chicken waiting for me!

I should be back to blogging more regular.

Oh and next week I add my running back in. Scaled back mileage for awhile. I’m not sure how much exactly yet. Less than 20 I think. With a speed session thrown in once a week. Work in progress people..

 

 

 

 

Day Numero 245- BOOM!

So, today was a big day for me (well, probably not really, but it kind of was). I finally got up the gumption to go to the gym to have someone help me figure out my 1 max rep. We have a gym up the road from me, not your typical boxed variety, but an old warehouse, converted into a gym, very old school style, just the way I like/prefer it. None of this Cybex stuff, that does the work for you. Old School, weights/dumbells, bars etc..(as a matter of fact there is a big ol’ tractor tire laying in one of the corners as well for one to roll around- RAWWRRR!)There is a treadmill and maybe one other cardio machine there, but that is it. I love it. Anyway, the guy that runs the place trains the college athletes, think football/lacrosse/basketball/girls softball/runners/wrestlers etc..etc..

I called him yesterday and told him what I wanted and in comes Kayla. On the phone when she left her message, I was not sure what to make of her, she sounded a little *tough* on the phone..we ended up deciding that I would see her after I woke up this afternoon. I have to tell you that I almost cancelled, and having the supportive guy that I do, he urged me to just go. SOOO, glad I did. As most of you know I decided to try Wendler 5/3/1 and in order to do this , I needed a starting point, which meant figuring my 1 rep max. I took a guess, based on what I thought was the heaviest I could go at home. Going to someone would ensure I could not sugar coat or fake any numbers that I got.

I walked in and felt a little self-conscious (as again, I’ve been feeling less than stellar about my body image). Kayla was waiting for me and can I just say that I was intimidated. NOW, don’t get me wrong, if I were to have a woman train me, it would be someone who looked like her. She was tall (much taller than myself) and she looked tough. Along with her credentials she was young, going for her crossfit cert, as well as the assistant basketball coach for the girls basketball team at the University. She also is the strength coach for the football team. RAAWWRRR! She looks like your typical softball/rugby player type build/person. VERY knowledgable and YOUNG, which translates into- having NEW ideas, the FRESHEST training ideas out there right now and is very thorough and careful in her training tips.  She basically asked me what my goals were, warmed me up PROPERLY and then away we went. It lasted about an hour and I felt well cared for.

My 1 rep max for the Overhead Press is: 60lbs (failed at 65)

Bench Press- 105lbs (failed at 110)

Squat-175lbs

Deadlift-205lbs here comes the BOOM! Holy crap! I had NO idea I was that strong!! She corrected my form, showed me the proper way to deadlift and I could immediately feel the difference.

So I finally have a starting point. I was so happy to hear her tell me how impressed she was with how far I have come thus far on MY OWN with no assistance (trainer). How could I not smile at that? She offered to train WITH me if I wanted. How cool is that? However, I need her to TRAIN ME. I don’t need a full on trainer, but I think I might train with her on leg day, just because legs are my biggest demons/fear. I can handle my upper body with my husband spotting me at home. She even asked if I wanted her to come to my home or keep it at the gym. Anyway, that was that, and I am glad that I got up the courage to get it done.

I still have ways to go, but at least I know that I have been doing something. right. RIGHT?!

Someone on my fb page asked me how come so heavy? Says they go light weights/more reps. NO, NO , NO. I can’t say too much, since I still have this deep-rooted fear of getting huge, but I know that it’s just not possible or easy to get that way. I have had enough friends drill it into my head and have seen first hand that I am NOT getting huge and bulky. I don’t want people to assume I’m going to look like a huge Crossfit chick, because that is NOT my intention. Not even close. I just want to be more compact and muscular. A small brick house if you will..lol I cannot have it consume my life, I just want to mesh with everything else. It’s all a balance.

I came home, ate dinner and finished my workout.

Today was day 2 of  Wendler-

May1st, Day 245

Deadlift- Warm-ups

5@ 75lbs, 5 @90lbs, and 3@105lbs

Actual workout-

5@121 lbs

5@ 141lbs

5+@ 151 lbs (did 10@151 lbs)

Assistives:

Walking lunges- 2×20@ 35lbs, 3×10@35lbs

DB Side bends- 5×20@ 30lbs

5×20 of various crunches

Done.

 

Tomorrow morning we leave for the beach! I will pack my running clothing and look forward to getting in a few miles here and there on the beach/boardwalk. Let’s hope there is nice weather! Good Luck Kutztown Twirlers!!!

Hey! Have you tried Noosa brand yoghurt? OMG!! Get thee to the store and try!! Fantastic.

 

Days 257-251, Boy Am I a Hot Mess..

Hot messes, can be good though..yes? I’m all over the map lately, which is fine, but I probably appear to be a bit *off-balance* to those around me, and that is fine. I’m working through some stuff. I’m the only one that really matters at the end of the day. I’ll post my workouts first.

Friday- April 19th & Saturday April 20th

NADA (days 257-56)

Sunday, April 21- Day 255

Dumbell Rows- 5×5@25lbs

Bench Press- 5×5@71lbs

Hammers- 1×5 @20lbs and 2×5@25lbs

Military Presses aka overhead presses-5×5@20lbs

EZ Bar Rows-5×5@51lbs

Close Grip Press-1×7 @65 and 2×5 @65 (I don’t know what this was all about- too long ago)

Deadlifts-5×5@ 135lbs (My body weight baybay)

Monday- April 22nd – Day 254

Ran 5.0 miles

Tuesday- April 23rd- Day 253

Hammers- 5×5@25lbs

Deadlifts 3×5@141 (ROAR!!)

DB Rows- 2×5@25lbs, 2×5@30lbs (Bent over rows)

Bench Press- 5×5@75lbs

Upright Rows- 5×5 @45lbs

Walking Lunges- 4×10@35lbs

Military Presses- 5×5 @20lbs

Push-ups- 2×20 @ body weight (I HATE push ups. No, I really really do)

Wednesday- April 24th- Day 252

5.0 Mile Run

Thursday- April 25th- Day 251

Back Squats- 5×5@115lbs (I need a new weight belt, mine is too big)

Bent over EZ Bar Rows- 5×5@ 51lbs

Push ups- 2×20 (Have I mentioned I hate these? )

Overhead presses- 5×5@20lbs (Don’t do these with push ups. Just don’t)

Farmer Walk- 2×40 @35lbs

Walking Lunges- 4×10 @35lbs

So I have been trying to really focus on just the push/pull philosophy of training. Still trying to understand and know that ALL my muscle groups are being hit, without having to really do split sets. I will give it about 6 weeks total and then re-evaluate and let you know what I think. I have been getting messages asking for help. I’m honored, but I’m not 100% sure myself, so I don’t feel confident enough to help anyone else out. I just know that I have been doing my homework, reading, asking advice and trial and erroring. There are so many schools of thought out there on the *right* way to train, that you can make yourself nuts. I look in the mirror and I see gains, which makes me KNOW that I am doing something right. The only thing I am still playing with is the frequency and figuring out if I like the split routine vs the 3 a weeks. Whether I like Stronglifts or your basic bodybuilding routines.

I have pretty much thrown away the evil thoughts of being afraid to bulk, it just won’t happen. I have been lifting heavier and heavier since January and the only thing that has happened is I have nice definition in my upper body (WIN) and my lower body has become a little more compact and tight (WIN). I still have work to do, but at least SEEING the gains and progress keeps me focused. This is not a fad or a new trick if you will, this is the rest of my life. I’m 40, and In order for me to be healthy all the way around, this is part of the package. It isn’t work, because I enjoy it and I KNOW it is what is best for my body. Healthy bones, muscle and overall well-being (well-being is a state of mind that I am always working on).

I’m letting go more and more of the idea of distance running. I’m trying to focus more on the shorter distances, because A)it’s all I have time for and B) I think I’m over the distance portion of the running. I thought I could never say that out loud or even think of doing that, but the more I’m honest with myself, the more I realize that, that phase of my life is over. Now, I’m not saying that I am done racing because God knows I can still throw down in a 5k if I wanted to and I was race ready and who knows, the half is still dangling out there. HOWEVER, for right now, I’m okay with running every other day a few miles. I am thinking of adding some biking into my regimen as well. Running was so much of who I thought I was. Running is something I was in control of, and something that I thought made me happy. Running became so many more things that I did NOT like about myself.

Running was starting to make me OCD. It was feeding into a part of me that I knew was there, but it was making it worse. My running became a chore, a chore to make sure I got the miles in, a chore to try to keep up with my other running friends. It was about becoming faster, doing too much, not starting my days until I got my runs in. I was not fueling my runs properly, I was getting sick after long runs, I was beginning to fatigue during my runs (DUE TO LACK OF PROPER FUELING), I did not want to FUEL because I felt I did not need those extra calories. I also have learned that I have an eating problem. I cannot be a good endurance runner, if I’m dealing with eating issues. I have eating issues because I was/am never happy with my body image. Not eating meals or going long extended periods in a day without eating was normal for me (and something I still struggle with). People could probably look at me and not think there was an issue because, after all, I do not LOOK like someone who is starving. I screwed up my metabolism. I’m almost sure of it. My body was/is just holding on to everything in fear of starvation. I was running because It gave me control, or control that I thought I had. It no longer became because I enjoyed it. There were days that I went out and DON’T get me wrong, I loved it and it made me remember why I ran, but those runs were coming far and few anymore.

Running gave me permission to eat more (meaning I felt LESS guilt eating on the days that I ran vs the days I did not run). There I said it. I’m not proud of it, but there it is. I do believe I have running talent. That I know is true beyond a shadow of a doubt. THAT is what I set out to work with. My natural talent, then somewhere along the line I got greedy and did too much and abused my body along the way. I would like to be able to get that back someday, but I don’t know if I could, I’m getting older now and well, who knows really. Then I kept at it because I did not want to lose friends, friends that I thought were friends because they ran too and we had something in common, but I wonder sometimes that without the running, will they still be my friends? What else do we have in common?

I have such a not healthy body image. I always have. I will never be the skinny girl, BUT, I am learning that I DON’T really want to be the skinny girl. I want to be the physically fit girl. Which may mean the number on the scale going up in order to make room for the muscle that I’m building. That horrifies me as well. It’s just a number right? It does not mean you are fat or overweight, it just means your more fit and muscular. Muscle weighs more than fat. I have to keep telling myself that.

I’m having all these little emotional growth spurts in my head and they were all about due to happen anyway, because I cannot keep living the way I was. Something had/has to change. I need to really start living my life. I mean really living it. I don’t think I was/am. I think I’m just existing and floating through it. I have great kids, a great supportive husband, and the very few friends I have,I would like to think they love me. I can do this. It will just take time. I’m not emotional Picasso, but, after so many falls, I have to eventually stop falling so much right?

Love- D.

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From Mondays run

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Days 278-275! Where Is The Time Going!?

and why am I not figuring out this eating thing. Dammit, it is making me angry. It’s not the figuring out part, it’s the actual eating part, and consistently at that. I seem to be all over with my calories on a day-to-day basis. I rarely get to where I should be. I would say maybe 3 out of 7 days I’m at or slightly above where I should be and the rest of the time I’m way under, like 5-6oo calories under. I seem to struggle the most during the day time, when I’m just not hungry and or busy to stop and eat. I find that I am having a harder time with my weight workout days in the last few sessions. Just feeling fatigued and having a hard time lifting weights, that I had no problem doing the week before. I’m getting them done, but definitely notice a difference. I have got to figure this out. I think somewhere in my brain, I still have this fear of getting heavy/bulky..EVEN THOUGH I KNOW, that is NOT the case. Ugh.

Friday- Day 278- 3/29/13

I did NOTHING. I was too tired from working/sleeping. Not a great day of sleep. Kids were home and I heard them on and off. Bleh.

Saturday- Day 277- 3/30/13

Walked 3.0 miles on the treadmill. (big freaking whoop)

Day 276-3/31/13

Walked 4.0 miles on the treadmill (again, I’m having a hard time being consistent with my running- I have faith that it will come back to me, It’s just frustrating for me right now)

Push-ups- 3×15 (body weight)

Bench Press- 5×5@65lbs

Flies-5×5@20lbs

The hubs worked out alongside me today! It was very nice!! I hope he keeps it up.

Day 275-4/1/13

5.0 mile Run outside! WOOT!

Upright Rows- 3×10@35lbs

Front Raises- 3×8@15lbs

DB Lat Raises- 5×5@15lbs

Bent Over Lat Raises- 3×8@10lbs

Military Presses (standing)-5×5@15lbs

Work tonight(last night, but I’m still here until 7am)

Been having issues with a tooth. Go to the Oral Surgeon next month to have 5 pulled!! OMG! I’m freaking 40 for Pete sake! I can thank genetics for that. Thankfully, you would NEVER tell by looking at me. I have great teeth to look at, but the inside tells another story. I just want them out and get my bridges put in.

Here are some updated pictures. I’ll post them in a bit..

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Days 287-285!

Busy, busy..yep, that’s me!

Day 287

Got up from sleeping (worked ) I was not sure what I was going to get done, but I’m happy to say that I was able to get a run in, especially now that the days are longer! Left around 7 and got a short 4.75 miles in.

286

5 Mile Run! Woot!

45 Degree EZ Bar Row- 1 warm-up of 5 reps@45lbs

3×10 @ 45lbs

SS W/

Bent Over Rows- 1 warm-up of 5 reps @20lbs

3×10@20lbs

One Arm DB Rows- 5×5 @ 25lbs

EZ Bar Curls- 5×5@25lbs

Hammers- 5×5@20lbs

Conc Curls-5×5@ 20lbs

Tricep Dips- 3×15 with BW

Overhead Tri Dips- 5×5@20lbs

285

Ran 6.6 Miles with some nice hills!

Push-ups- 3×15 BW

Bench Press- 5×5@65lbs

Flies-5×5@ 20lbs

Uright Rows- 3×10@35lbs

Front Raises (singles)- 5×5@15lbs

DB Lat Raises (singles)- 3×8@ 15lbs

Bent Over Lat Raises- 3×8@10lbs

My first week on my new schedule is going good so far. Been off since Monday night! Feels good, I feel grounded. I miss feeling that way. Everything else will eventually fall into place.

I have a blog I want to share with y’all called www.GoKaleo.com . I hope you find some useful reading material here. She talks alot about eating MORE not less to not only reset your metabolism, but to lose weight as well (if that is your goal). What I like about Amber is that she backs a lot of her stuff up with RESEARCH! I know right?!! Real live research..who would have thunk!

One of my favorite posts of hers:

“I said this once on my page and got SO much crap for it, but it’s important: You will NOT ‘get fat’ eating 2200 calories of mostly healthy food a day. 2200 calories of mostly healthy food a day simply won’t support more than about 140/150 pounds at a moderate activity level. (I’m using 2200 as an example here, not mandating that everyone begin eating 2200 calories a day immediately. Everyone’s calorie needs are unique to their own situation. Some people need more, some people need less, but 2200 is pretty ‘moderate’ so I use it in examples like this.) Some people may gain weight when they up their calories, if their new intake is more than their body needs to support their current weight or if their metabolic function has been depressed by extended periods of undereating, but they won’t gain indefinitely, they will gain until their weight catches up to their intake and then plateau. I swear to god, you will not become obese eating a moderate am…ount of mostly healthy food. You WILL however feel better, have more energy, and begin to emerge the mental maze of diet restriction. The initial weight gain is why I recommend increasing calories gradually if you’ve been restricting for a long time. If you’ve been cycling between periods of restriction and bingeing, adopting a more consistent, moderate eating pattern will probably stabilize your weight more quickly than if you’ve been just undereating. If you feel like you’re eating an appropriate amount of food but you’re gaining weight beyond an initial 5-8 pound bump, you may be underestimating your intake or overestimating your activity level. Spend a few days really paying attention to both, even weighing and measuring your food, to make sure you’re eating and moving as much as you think you are. If your tracking is accurate and you’re still gaining, there could be a metabolic issue such as thyroid dysfunction or insulin resistance, and seeing a doctor might be a good idea to rule out any treatable conditions. I encourage eating foods you enjoy, but protein and fruits and vegetables are still the most filling and highly thermic foods there are, so make sure you’re getting plenty of each. The vast majority of women here will need somewhere between 2000 and 3000 calories a day to maintain a healthy weight. Only those on the extreme ends of the size and activity spectrum will need less or more than that for maintenance.”- Go Kaleo.
So many of us have this idea of what *dieting* really is or should be like. We have been taught for so long about restricting calories, and don’t eat this and don’t eat that. Carbs are bad, fats are bad, sugar is bad..etc..etc..It’s hard to UNDO so many years of having all this drilled into our heads. I urge you to rethink the way you eat and reinvent your relationship with food. Your body will thank you for it.
-Much Love..Me.
Here are some new pics..

20130321-194818.jpg Not a Bicep day, so no pump going on today!

20130321-194829.jpgDefinition fo’sho’

20130321-194840.jpgNot a great picture, it’s always hard taking one of yourself, but my rear is lifting a bit..indeed.

20130321-194849.jpg This was a little later on- just changed my shirt (The Hubs bought me some new ones!)

20130321-194857.jpgI suck at trying to flex…lol

20130321-194906.jpgheh..me. In all my moppy headed glory.

298 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall..298 Bottles Of..err..Days..298 DAYS!

Slept so, so last night, but woke up wringing in sweat,not sure why and it certainly is not my time for the ol’ hormonal shift. Got my workout done early today, thankfully as I ended up taking a nap this afternoon.

Leg were still store this morning btw. I have a love/hate relationship with DOMS.

BB Press- 3×12@58lbs
SS/W
DB Flys- 3×12 @12lbs (I may be able to up to 15lbs and lower the reps do 10 and add another set)
Pullovers- 3×12 @20lbs
SS/W
Push-ups- 3×10 w/ bw (I just hate push-ups)

EZ Bar Curls- 4×10 @ 28lbs
SS/W
Hammer Curls- 4×10@15lbs
Bicep Curls w/ Static Holds- 4×10@15lbs (I love doing these, really hits those bicep heads nicely)
SS/W
Tricep Dips- 4×15 BW
Tricep Extensions- 3×12@12lbs

Bike Trainer- 40:00 (12.96 miles)
No run today, legs would have felt like lead on a run I think.

So, as you all know I have been doing a lot of reading on calorie intake and what not. Here is what I am finding, there are a LOT of people out there who have a very warped sense of proper eating. Such extreme measures, such crazy methods to lose weight, I can’t even wrap my brain around it. From carb restricting, to eliminating ALL grains (NOT talking about people with medical conditions that HAVE TO and that pertains to ALL of my posts), to eliminating sugar, high protein, low protein, high fat, low-fat, Paleo, Atkins, WW’s, Raw etc..etc..etc.. All of these things (some of which trust me I am GUILTY of following) seem crazy to me anymore. Especially after all of the research and reading I have been doing. We are so hooked on the amount of calories we take in, that we will go to such extreme measures to do so. We have deprived our bodies for so long, that our poor broken down metabolisms don’t know what to do anymore…like a deer in headlights. How do we stop all the madness?

When one has gone so long with restricting and restricting, how do you go back and erase and reset? I’ll tell you how, with baby steps. I, myself am in that process right now. I have never been a huge restricter, my issue has always been just not taking in enough calories. Skipping meals because I became too busy, not listening to my own hunger cues, and sometimes even going a full day with only 1 full meal in me. Top that off with running and exercise. There is really nothing at this point and in the last 4 years that I have had off-limits in terms of food. There was a time when I tried Atkins and It did not support my running lifestyle, so I stopped. I don’t feel bad if I have sweets, or carbs, or fats, I really don’t. I love food, ALL kinds of food, I just need to learn to incorporate more of it into my life and WORRY LESS about the number on the scale.

As I was lifting this morning and looking in the mirror, I see great gains, I see great muscle definition in my arms and my shoulders and like I said the other day, even in my legs. It makes me want to continue on and I won’t lie, I don’t love doing it all the time. Some days, I find myself trying to switch days around so I NOT have to work out on some nights. I’m human, but what I have decided is that I would much rather take the time and do what I need to do, so that I not only reap the benefits of being fit, but also being healthy.

299 Days..

Hey..

Nothing real exciting today. Ran 4 miles, good thing I ran early as my legs got progressively more sore as the day went on, from last nights lower body workout.

I did get a mani pedi though!! They have the most awesome massager chairs! I have not had nails in almost 4 years! Lets see how phlebotomy goes! Lol

I did get 2100 calories in today! Yay me! Although I am nervous about the number. I probably won’t go that high tomorrow. Baby steps.

Tomorrow is a new day!

Here is a funny..

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We are crazay!! What a face!!!

301 & 300! 65 Days Down!

Work the last two days..tired! Yesterday all I did was a 3.5 mile run. No scheduled weights. I’m just happy that I got out to run, especially after just coming off a 12 hour shift (well I slept, but still). I got to thinking last night about logging exercise or whatever, and it has never really been a thought to consider working (or being on my feet and walking for 9-10 hours a shift) exercise. I mean, is that silly? I’m surely burning calories all night long, my job is by NO stretch sedentary. I’m constantly moving about, in and out of patient rooms, rushing from one spot to the next to do my patient care. Along with that comes, moving patients, pushing beds around, lifting and turning patients..etc..etc.. So, why would I NOT think that really counts? See, I don’t want to be the person that gets completely wrapped about calories and eating, my ONLY goal is to be sure I am eating what I need and eating enough. It still is all really trial and error for me right now, although it is getting better. If I log what I do while I work, it seems that I would or I DO burn between 1200-1500 calories during the course of a shift. That’s a lot. I do pack my lunch and snacks with me, so usually every few hours I am eating something, or I at least try to. People at work probably think I’m nuts, but, I figure I need to keep that metabolism going right? Feeding the furnace?

Got home from work this morning and thought I would be able to sleep good..NO GO. God, I cannot figure out the freaking sleeping thing. I laid in bed until 4pm, and wondered if I would even get a workout in. Well, 2 cups of coffee later and my workout clothing on, I accomplished just that. I certainly was tired, but I plugged along. I felt motivated to get my legs done, normally I don’t like doing my lower body, but lately, I am enjoying doing them. Maybe it is because I am seeing some results finally?

I’m going to jump back to calories for a second (and because I have ADD, you may notice I do that jumping around alot when blogging) I was reading on another site, women talking about eating 12-1400 calories a day trying to lose weight. I don’t understand that. I mean, I do, I used to be one of those people who thought massively restricting calories was the thing to do, every day I learn something new about eating MORE instead of LESS. I think that we really slow our metabolism down by restricting our calorie intake so severely. This is a hard lesson to learn.

Before I move forward, let me say that you do need to get physically fit as well- it’s a marriage of sorts. Ok..that’s that for now.

Plie’ Squats- 3×15 @ 25lbs
SS w/
Leg Extensions- 3×12@ 35lbs (Are these really even worth doing??)

Back Squats- 3×10@58lbs (go heavy or go home? Right? RIGHT? God, I get so nervous going heavy on my legs)
SS w/
Bulgarian Split Squat- 3×10 @15lbs (I’m not so hot to trot on these, but I do them anyway)

Deadlifts- 3×10 @ 58lbs (same with these.)

Farmers Walk- 4×40 @ 20lbs

I walked for 1.75 miles (30minutes) doing some incline work on the deadmill.

I’m tired. I really am. Had a good dinner though 🙂 Rib sticking good!

Now to enjoy my wine and my hubby.

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A little definition? If you squint really hard??

Waiting patiently for her momma to finish!

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