Now that I am down to 2 work days a week, I feel so much more NORMAL. My sleeping is back to being what is normal for me, I feel better, and I look forward to tackling my days now.
Dropped the kids off at school and headed to the gym (gotta love those early morning workouts, get em’ done and claim your day!) Today was chest, shoulders, tri’s and bi’s. I’m deloading so all my weights are light. I feel like screaming in the gym- “I AM ON A DELOAD WEEK! DELOAD! THIS IS NOT MY TYPICAL LIFTING WEIGHT!!” but, then I figure, who really cares? Nobody is watching me NOR do they really care. When you workout, never compare yourself to anyone other than YOURSELF.
Even though my weight were low, I went with higher repetitions, and yes, by golly I am a little sore. My routine was this:
Incline DB Press
Single Bicep Curls
Tricep Rope pull downs
Dips off a bench
Rear Delt Raises
I did some Ab work as well.
Most of these were 4 sets of 12-15 AND supersetted with one another.
So I have to share. I had stopped to go to the bathroom (well, because that is what happens when you drink close to a gallon of water a day), and a lady (a little older than myself) stopped me and asked what I did in terms of working out. She said she is absolutely amazed with my physique and my body is her inspiration. I was so COMPLETELY and UTTERLY flattered. Her and I spoke for the next 20 minutes (normally this would bother me as I was in between sets, but I wanted to answer her questions), she told me how she lost 45 lbs over the last two years and how she has come to love going to the gym. She even went as far to say that she goes home and tells her husband about me, and how badly she has been wanting to talk to me (her husband finally pushed her to just talk to me..so FUNNY! I just cannot imagine that) We had such a great talk and I so badly wanted to tell her to quit the daily cardio she is doing- BUT, I refrained. The first thing I have learned in this whole process is to NOT tell people what they are doing WRONG, but encourage them in all they are doing RIGHT. She even went as far as to ask me if I thought it would be weird if she wrote down everything she saw me doing next time I was at the gym (stalker much? NO, KIDDING!! TOTALLY), of COURSE I said YES! I was so flattered. NO really. I hope to be an inspiration to SO many MORE people out there. I want people to know that this is a REAL attainable goal. You CAN do this. I am HAPPY. I am not restrictive in ANY WAY. NONE. I don’t have any forbidden foods, I don’t do LOW carb, Low fat, Low ANYTHING. My workouts are SO rewarding. I love them.
I would not be fair for me to say that you can look like me or have the physique you want without saying that nutrition REALLY is a HUGE part of it. HUGE. You can go to the gym all you want, but you really have to close that nutrition loop. I am not talking about crazy diets (It isn’t a diet it’s a lifestyle), rock bottom calories or being miserable. So please, just take those thoughts out of your head. I realize that not everyone wants to have to measure their food, or watch their intake. I realize it may turn people off right there. I may have just lost someone in that last statement. It’s ok. When they are ready they will come back. The first thing is that you need to get an idea of HOW MUCH you are actually eating in a day. The only true way to do this is to TRACK your food for a week. EVERYTHING that goes into your mouth, write it down. There are TONS of apps out there, that you can download to your phone. My favorite are Mynetdiary and Mymacros. There is myfitness pal as well, but I don’t care for it honestly. This way you can see where your calories are. That would be step 1. You really cannot just go all willy nilly and guestimate. It’s too important. I want you to be able to see if you are eating too much OR too little. Believe it or not, too little is a common theme.
I personally choose to follow my macros. I enjoy this way much better. I will talk about that tomorrow. However, for now, a good tip I received from a reputable source is this:
If you want to lose weight, multiply your weight by 12. If you want to maintain, multiply your weight by 14/15. That is a good GUIDE/STARTING point. This way you have a general idea of numbers. Well, I don’t want to bombard today, so I will post more soon. Remember, give it a chance. Track your intake for a week. It’s a real eye opener. Try not to be conscious of what you are eating. Just eat the way you are right now. Measure it and track it. Go!
Ugh. Why do I have to make this so difficult? I don’t know why I allow myself to struggle so much with my body image. Yesterday I was happy, yes. It was not long after before all the self doubt began to creep into my head, like, “What are you doing? Why would you want to weight train an already big body? Why would you run the risk of growing and having the scale go up as well as your clothing size to fit your legs?”
I don’t truly know where the happy medium is. Everything inside me screams to go back to the higher mileage running, burn those calories, but the reality is that slow sustained cardio is not the answer. It may have worked the first year, but it slowed way down. Then I think, what was I doing when I weighed 125. Ahhh, I was running higher mileage and NOT eating due to stress and job challenges with my husband. Of course.. But I think that is where I probably started damaging my metabolism. I think I lived on and off that way for about a year. Don’t get me wrong, running is good! I have learned that running for so long, eventually stops working or slows down the weight loss tremendously after a period of time. I know in my head that weight training, combined with SOME cardio is MUCH better. I have this little whisper that keeps saying, you can get back to 125 if you cut your calories way back down and run longer again. No. I have to keep forging forward, continue on the path that I am, to prove to myself that I’m doing the right thing.
It’s probably safe to say that unless you have struggled with this, you could never truly appreciate what goes on inside our train of thinking. I can look at a picture of myself, and be happy, but as soon as you associate a number with it such as weight or body fat %, all of that goes out the window. I realize I AM truly a prisoner to the number. I need to not be.
This journey has made me realize that I need to learn how to have a healthy relationship with my body. Baby steps. I think yes. So bear with me while I work through some of this crap.
Monday 4/15 (Day 261)
4 mile Run
Upright Rows- 5×5 @51lbs
Military Presses- 5×5@20lbs
Hammers (because this is my most favorite exercise) 3×5@25lbs
One Arm DB Rows- 5×5@35lbs
Today was a leg day as well, so it was a pretty long workout. Still tinkering and figuring out good push/pull movements to give me the bang for my buck I’m looking for. Some of these are redundant, BUT, coming from years of split workouts, it’s hard for me to wrap my brain around how some exercises automatically work the smaller muscle groups. I have been learning so many new things regarding weight training my head is spinning! Still trying to find that ground with running AND weight training. Try and try until I get it right!
Back Squats-5×5@115lbs (there are some people that think you cannot do these two on the same day- FALSE)
Plie Squats-3×10@35 lbs (I don’t NEED to do these, I just do)
Leg Extensions- 5×5@70lbs (Same with these. I don’t do them often, but every once in a while)
DB Upright Rows (a switch from the ez bar)5×5@25lbs (I find that I can go heavier with the EZ bar than the DB’s)
Bench Press- 5×5@65lbs (I did this at the very, bad move, I need to order my lifts a bit better, the way these are written down are not the order that I do them in)
Tricep Extensions- 5×5@20lbs (Same with these not a need one can easily do a close grip BB press and hit the triceps as well)
Hammers-5×5 @20lbs (again, don’t need these, just love em’)
Military presses 5×5@20lbs (I’m learning to love these as well It’s very important to watch your form on these especially as you go up in weight)
Bent Over EZ Bar Rows- 5×5@51lbs
This took about an hour. I don’t like being in there that long. What I have learned and am continuing to learn is that you really only need a few exercises (push/pull) to really hit ALL your muscle groups. It’s taking me a while to get out of the split routine mentality. I’m a little stubborn that way. I’m also learning that lifting heavy is NOT a bad thing. It WON’T make me bulk. I need to EAT to feed the muscle. Calories in are still an issue for me, and I think they always will be. I have come from years of restricting because I have believed that you need to restrict to lose, what I did not realize was that I was damaging my metabolism in doing so. Restricting works in the immediate term, but when one wants to lose more one must restrict more. The body was NOT MEANT to live on 12-1500 calories. That is a hard concept to get through ones head in this day and age. I have found that my BMR is around 1300 calories. Can you imagine if I was only eating 1500 calories AND working out?? This is how society lives for the most part the *diet* industry has really fucked with our minds. Eat less! NO! Eat more! Fix that metabolism!
Does that mean eat more crap? NO! Does it mean you can’t eat crap once in a while?! NO! It means make generally healthy food choices and it is MORE THAN FINE to have your treats! Be active, stay active and FEED THAT DAMN BODY!!
I’m still struggling with running, I’m still dealing with fatigue and being tired, which honestly, stems from me still trying to eat the food. I’m still fighting with my sleep and I fear I have some long-term effects from working for the last year plus at night. I’m guessing it will take me awhile to find the happy medium. I still work nights, but I’m down to 2 nights. It still seems to be an issue. Whatever. Eventually I will figure it all out.
Yep. I have done NOTHING in 2 days. Honestly, I kind of don’t care. Yesterday, I ended up getting stuff around the house done, we went out and ran errands and by the time I got home, it was time to cook dinner, and well..I chose having a nice family dinner over working out. So It was just considered it an extra rest day. Today, I just used as one of my 2 rest days. I went to bed last night around midnight, and woke up/ or got tired of tossing and turning around 2:30. So..I got up and watched TV until 4. I have been having an issue with my back molar and It’s starting to ache me now truth be told. I go to the dentist on Friday. I will flip out if I lose the tooth. So, needless to say I ended up sleeping until 1:30, WHICH is fine, because I had to work anyway. I usually try to sleep in late when I have to work that night.
Anywhoo, I won’t get another rest day now until Sunday. Fine enough. I’ll get all my workouts in. Like I said, I refuse to be OCD about it. Oh, what did not make me thrilled is that I only consumed 758 calories yesterday. That is what happens with me, especially on a day I sleep late and go into work. Sunday I ate OVER my calories by 200 calories or so. Going back through my log, I seem to go 4/5 days or so eating UNDER my calories and about 2/3 days (depending) slightly over my calories. However, even If I average it all out, I still end up way under. I really need to work harder on this. It certainly is not on purpose, I promise.
After I get off shift, I am off until the weekend! Yea!!