How you ask? Certainly NOT from training. I went to crouch down to pick up something off the effin’ floor!!! Weird thing is,that I can still squat. It hurts when I try to cross my leg or lift it straight up when I’m sitting, I thought I really did myself In yesterday though, the pain was searing and instantly intense. It’s sore today, but not awful. I honestly thought I tore something. I surely was not laughing last night.
Main lift is the squat today:
Warm up- 3×5 @ 65
Actual- 5×65, 5×81, 5×95
Lying leg curls-5×10@25
What I do like about this week is that the lower weights allow me to recheck my form. It also allows me to get a good attg squat in, those are harder for me to do at the higher weights, without me feeling like I’m going to fall backwards.
Update: no walking lunges. Damn they hurt with that quad. That really sucks.
Ok, so I will just do 5×20 with my body weight of deep plié squats, on my toes.
Ugh. Why do I have to make this so difficult? I don’t know why I allow myself to struggle so much with my body image. Yesterday I was happy, yes. It was not long after before all the self doubt began to creep into my head, like, “What are you doing? Why would you want to weight train an already big body? Why would you run the risk of growing and having the scale go up as well as your clothing size to fit your legs?”
I don’t truly know where the happy medium is. Everything inside me screams to go back to the higher mileage running, burn those calories, but the reality is that slow sustained cardio is not the answer. It may have worked the first year, but it slowed way down. Then I think, what was I doing when I weighed 125. Ahhh, I was running higher mileage and NOT eating due to stress and job challenges with my husband. Of course.. But I think that is where I probably started damaging my metabolism. I think I lived on and off that way for about a year. Don’t get me wrong, running is good! I have learned that running for so long, eventually stops working or slows down the weight loss tremendously after a period of time. I know in my head that weight training, combined with SOME cardio is MUCH better. I have this little whisper that keeps saying, you can get back to 125 if you cut your calories way back down and run longer again. No. I have to keep forging forward, continue on the path that I am, to prove to myself that I’m doing the right thing.
It’s probably safe to say that unless you have struggled with this, you could never truly appreciate what goes on inside our train of thinking. I can look at a picture of myself, and be happy, but as soon as you associate a number with it such as weight or body fat %, all of that goes out the window. I realize I AM truly a prisoner to the number. I need to not be.
This journey has made me realize that I need to learn how to have a healthy relationship with my body. Baby steps. I think yes. So bear with me while I work through some of this crap.
Friday April 26th- Day 250
Rest Day (Worked from 3pm-3am anyway)
Saturday April 27th- Day 249
Ran 5.0 miles
Slept until 11ish, woke up got Sierra ready for her Chapter Championships, RAN, came home, showered and off to Jersey for Logan’s Region 7, competition. He was one of the top 3 in the State (Age group/level) to make the PA State All Star Team! Last competition of the season!
Which he did well in considering there was PA, NJ, DE, VA, WV, MA and NY representing with their best of the best. 4th for Vault, which was a shock since that was our weakness all year long- AND he got a heel contusion a week out. 9th on Pbars and 10th on Floor. IN THE REGION! So, I can’t complain and he was tickled. We also won 1st place as a team! Woot! The boys each got a nice gold medal and a big canvas sign.
Sunday April 28th- Day 248
Ran 5.0 miles (which I’m shocked I did, but it was a nice day and I felt good)
So this is where you will shake your head at me. I’m thinking of doing Wendlers 5/3/1 program. I bought his e-book and have been reading it. The only part I don’t like is the math. Since, I’m math illiterate, it may take me a while to get the hang of it. Today I tried to figure out my 1rm on the overhead press and I probably messed it up, I did it wrong as well as missing my warm up sets. I will start again tomorrow, so my workout is a little weird today. Pay no mind to it.
Shrugs- 3×15 @30lbs
DB Rows- 3×12@30lbs
Tri Dips-5×10 with my body weight
The last 3 were assistive exercises. The big lifts are the core of the workout. I will be doing 3/4 days with the big lifts being overhead press, benchpress, deadlift, and squat (all have their assistive on those days as well). I’m sure you will see some not hot looking workouts until I figure it out. This is NOT a ripped in 30 days program, it progresses with a deloading week at the end of each cycle.
If your interested, just look up Wendler 5/3/1. It’s more of a powerlifting program vs a bodybuilding program BUT, you can variate it to your liking, as long as you keep the basic premise. I, personally am not so much into powerlifting, but I like the fact that it is geared towards long-term gains vs short-term quick fixes. It will keep my interest longer I think.
Off to work tonight Different hours the last couple days, all in the name of the kid and their sports.
Monday 4/15 (Day 261)
4 mile Run
Upright Rows- 5×5 @51lbs
Military Presses- 5×5@20lbs
Hammers (because this is my most favorite exercise) 3×5@25lbs
One Arm DB Rows- 5×5@35lbs
Today was a leg day as well, so it was a pretty long workout. Still tinkering and figuring out good push/pull movements to give me the bang for my buck I’m looking for. Some of these are redundant, BUT, coming from years of split workouts, it’s hard for me to wrap my brain around how some exercises automatically work the smaller muscle groups. I have been learning so many new things regarding weight training my head is spinning! Still trying to find that ground with running AND weight training. Try and try until I get it right!
Back Squats-5×5@115lbs (there are some people that think you cannot do these two on the same day- FALSE)
Plie Squats-3×10@35 lbs (I don’t NEED to do these, I just do)
Leg Extensions- 5×5@70lbs (Same with these. I don’t do them often, but every once in a while)
DB Upright Rows (a switch from the ez bar)5×5@25lbs (I find that I can go heavier with the EZ bar than the DB’s)
Bench Press- 5×5@65lbs (I did this at the very, bad move, I need to order my lifts a bit better, the way these are written down are not the order that I do them in)
Tricep Extensions- 5×5@20lbs (Same with these not a need one can easily do a close grip BB press and hit the triceps as well)
Hammers-5×5 @20lbs (again, don’t need these, just love em’)
Military presses 5×5@20lbs (I’m learning to love these as well It’s very important to watch your form on these especially as you go up in weight)
Bent Over EZ Bar Rows- 5×5@51lbs
This took about an hour. I don’t like being in there that long. What I have learned and am continuing to learn is that you really only need a few exercises (push/pull) to really hit ALL your muscle groups. It’s taking me a while to get out of the split routine mentality. I’m a little stubborn that way. I’m also learning that lifting heavy is NOT a bad thing. It WON’T make me bulk. I need to EAT to feed the muscle. Calories in are still an issue for me, and I think they always will be. I have come from years of restricting because I have believed that you need to restrict to lose, what I did not realize was that I was damaging my metabolism in doing so. Restricting works in the immediate term, but when one wants to lose more one must restrict more. The body was NOT MEANT to live on 12-1500 calories. That is a hard concept to get through ones head in this day and age. I have found that my BMR is around 1300 calories. Can you imagine if I was only eating 1500 calories AND working out?? This is how society lives for the most part the *diet* industry has really fucked with our minds. Eat less! NO! Eat more! Fix that metabolism!
Does that mean eat more crap? NO! Does it mean you can’t eat crap once in a while?! NO! It means make generally healthy food choices and it is MORE THAN FINE to have your treats! Be active, stay active and FEED THAT DAMN BODY!!
I’m still struggling with running, I’m still dealing with fatigue and being tired, which honestly, stems from me still trying to eat the food. I’m still fighting with my sleep and I fear I have some long-term effects from working for the last year plus at night. I’m guessing it will take me awhile to find the happy medium. I still work nights, but I’m down to 2 nights. It still seems to be an issue. Whatever. Eventually I will figure it all out.